A Gray Kind Of Day ~ Prisoner Of Fibromyalgia
What a wonderful world I see in these two beautiful babies of mine. They always make me smile.
Today has been a gray sort of day for me. I usually love Saturdays (who doesn’t right!) They are typically free days for us. Days we can get some much needed things done around the house or just a craft day for me. A day when I can get caught up with my creative side and spend time with my children. But in recent years, more than a few of them have been stolen away, by Fibromyalgia and its minions… by name fatigue and pain. Today has been long, it has been hard. It has made me sad.
I long to crochet, to paint, to play with my babies, to organize & yes to even clean!
But I cannot. This aggravating Fibromyalgia has on more than one occasion shown me that it does have the power to steal days, or even weeks at a time. I ache, I hurt, I generally feel like I have a terrible flu that has knocked me flat. It hurts to move even my little toes. My “everywhere” aches. It came out of the middle of “No Where!” So here I sit with a beautiful piece of crochet on my lap, unable to work on it. And I cry…because I long to be making beautiful things. To cook sweet goodies for my babies & sweet husband…to spend time appreciating and organizing my lovely home. To LIVE!
I read something this week, that mentioned being a prisoner of Fibromyalgia. I can identify with that so very well. I long to make plans, to visit with friends & family. I want to go on those spontaneous trips my husband and I took when we were much younger, but I just don’t feel up to it anymore. Sometimes I get angry, just down right mad, that have this lot in life. But then I remember the blessings and all of the good years and even good years yet to come. Many, many happy years ahead, years full of blessings.
I get up…I struggle on. I appreciate that I am here. I am alive. I have my sweet husband, my children, my home. That I have a God who never leaves us comfortless and alone. He is with us always…and I rest in that, and it is enough. It doesn’t take away the pain, but it makes it more bearable somehow. It is a powerful medicine to count your blessings.
Tomorrow is another day…and I will keep on…keepin’ on.
Blessings this day.