“If” ~ The Heartaches of Growing Up

Sometimes I wish I could take the innocence of my children and pop it into a bottle and keep it for always.

Yesterday, one of my sons came home from work and told me the most heart breaking story. One of his closest friends betrayed him. She stomped on his heart quite hard. My heart broke into pieces for him. He is hurting. I suddenly remembered him as a little boy, one who would crawl up in my lap for a cuddle.

It was enough for me to dry his tears then. Now, it is not. He has become a man. I must stand by and pray for his healing. I can no longer kiss away the boo boos. I don’t know which of us is hurting the most. Although I am sure he is.

There is a little poem by Rudyard Kipling, that he loved when he was younger called “If.” I made a copy last night and place it on his pillow.

Becoming a man is hard, I am so proud of how he is handling it.

He has learned to take the high road, to turn the other cheek, to ask himself…”What would Jesus do?” I am so proud of him. No one told me that the older your children get, the more your heart aches for them.

The older they get, the more you want to hold them close. Thank goodness for a wonderful Father in heaven who holds us all in His very capable and tender hands. Have a lovely day dear friends. Blessings, Valerie


If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:.
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build’em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

12 Responses to “If” ~ The Heartaches of Growing Up

  1. Sylvia says:

    And it doesn't end with your children, as a grandparent I have had these same moments. Your heart breaks when theirs do, out of love for them! Praying all works out for the best for your son.

  2. Stephanie says:

    Oh Valerie, this post tugged at my heart. I have a son who is only 6 years old, but when he hurts, I hurt, when he cries, I cry – as mother's we feel our child's heartache. But we also feel their joy and happiness 🙂

    Thinking of you and your precious son. Love and hugs to you!

  3. praying for your son, blessings to you my friend

  4. Denise says:

    Praying for your son.

  5. Mrs R says:

    Valerie, that poem surely touched him and I hope that it brings some solace to him. My mother often said "when your children are little, they step on your feet and when your children are big, they step on your heart." I have found that to be true. As mothers, we feel their pain (and joy as Stephanie said) deeply. {{HUGS}}

  6. nice blog here! i saw you thrue other blogger…will visit more..blessings ❤

  7. Valerie says:

    Dear Sylvia,
    I can only imagine! Although, I am looking forward to grandchildren someday. =) Thank you so much for your kind words.

  8. Valerie says:

    Dear Sweet Stephanie,
    Thank you so much for your kind words. Thank goodness for the smiles…they make the heartaches worthwhile. =) Blessings to you and your precious baby. Hope only happiness for you both!

  9. Valerie says:

    Dear Gilligan Maryanne,
    Thank you so much sweet friend.

  10. Valerie says:

    Dear Denise,
    Thank you so much for your prayers. Raising children is not for the faint of heart that is for sure. =)

  11. Valerie says:

    Dear Mrs. R.,
    Your mother's words are very true. Sometimes, they step on our hearts without even meaning to. It is all a part of growing up. Thank goodness for the joys we share in too.
    Missed you! Glad to see you back to blogging.

  12. Valerie says:

    Dear Cozy Little Space,
    Thank you so much for dropping by and your lovely comments. Glad to have you visit!

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